6 Key Reasons Men and Women Cheat on Each Other by B. SixWise.com
Cheating in relationships has been around as long as
romantic relationships have existed (give or take seven
years.) If you have never cheated yourself, chances are you
have at least considered it ... or at the very least you are
close to someone who has cheated in some relationship.
As we are all aware, at least one of our ex-presidents
has cheated (historians tell us many of them have), along
with countless other celebrities and politicians. There's
even a program called "Cheaters" on TV that allows
suspicious partners to spy on their potentially cheating
mates.
Just how widespread is cheating?
According to Susan Sheppard, life and relationship coach
and author of How to Get What You Want From Your Man
Anytime, "Infidelity affects eight out of 10 marriages in
this country." That's a startling 80 percent!
Why is it, though, that men and women cheat on each
other, rather than simply staying single in the first place
or being upfront with their partners?
Interestingly, where men and women once cheated for
different reasons (men for the physical aspect and the
excitement, women because they were unhappy in their
relationship), nowadays those differences are disappearing.
"In the past, there were significant gender differences,"
says Dr. Glass, PhD, author of Not "Just Friends": Protect
Your Relationship From Infidelity and Heal the Trauma of
Betrayal. "The traditional male affair that was primarily
sexual is changing because more men are having more
emotional affairs (meaning their feelings for the "other
woman" go beyond just sexual) with coworkers. Meanwhile,
women are having more sexual affairs."
The reasons we cheat are more complex than you may think,
and the motivations are vastly different for each person.
Emotional Needs Not Met
When one partner feels lonely, misunderstood, ignored or
emotionally "uncared" for by their mate, the stage is set
for infidelity. It's cases like these where the person will
seek to have their emotional needs met by talking with
friends and coworkers, perhaps even confiding in them about
their relationship problems.
If a physical attraction exists between the person and
the new confidante, it could lead to first flirting and then
all-out cheating.
Physical Needs Not Met
Similar to emotional needs, if a person isn't satisfied
by their partner physically, they may seek this out from
another person. This could be done consciously or
unconsciously, but a person who feels isolated physically
will often be drawn to someone who shows them affection and
physical attention, which could lead to infidelity.
Constant Conflict Within the Relationship
If the relationship is plagued with problems - -these
could be related to finances, different values, in-laws,
career, location, etc. -- a person may seek refuge in the
arms of someone else. This may be done as a way to escape
from the conflicts at hand, or a person may cheat to make
themselves feel better about the conflict (for instance, a
man who loses his job and feels unable to provide for his
family who has an affair with a younger woman, which makes
him feel a sense of accomplishment and self-worth).
One Person Just Wants Excitement and Attention
Sometimes couples get stuck in the routine of everyday
life so severely that it leads one partner to stray. It may
be a mid-life crisis of sorts, a way to recapture youth or
just a strong feeling of wanting some excitement (for some,
an affair can add excitement just for the very fact that it
is "forbidden).
Along these lines, a person may cheat to feel they're
desirable to another person (not just to their mate). When a
person cheats for this reason, it's often to enhance their
own self-esteem -- and, "There is nothing like a flirtation
to restore a sense of self-esteem," says Sheppard, "But
sometimes that flirtation gets taken to far."
Empowerment
There are those out there who simply believe they are
entitled to more than one intimate partner. Perhaps they are
following "traditions" set up by their family, in which one
parent was overly flirtatious or cheated, or they may just
do it because they feel they can.
To End a Relationship
A person who is unhappy in a relationship may cheat as a
way out. They may do so hoping to get caught, and therefore
thrown out of the relationship, or they may be seeking to
find a new mate and start a new relationship before letting
go of the former, unhappy one. Says Lonnie Barbach, PhD,
co-author of Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping
Lifelong Love, of this type of cheating, "[It's] different
from the person who cheats while maintaining the dating
relationship--this person is much more likely to cheat
during marriage."
Relationships After Cheating
After one partner has cheated, does the relationship have
hope? According to most experts, yes. In fact, some
relationships may even grow stronger. "I've seen many
relationships that were much better after the affair,
because up until then the couple wasn't dealing with their
real issues. Dealing with the affair helped them communicate
on a much deeper level," says Barbach.
IF YOU LIKED THIS ARTICLE DEFINITELY CHECK OUT:
The Top Seven Signs that Someone is Lying to You
http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/05/06/29/lies.htm
The Top Six Signs that Someone is Physically Attracted
to You
http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/05/06/29/attraction.htm
