Long Distance Relationship -
Advice on Dos and Don'ts
By Alex Chew
Throughout our
experience working with long distance relationship
couples, we had discovered that there are lots of
thing that we must do and as well as refrain from
doing in order to survive the relationship. Below
are some of the advices that we have compiled over
the years. Although they may look simple but when it
comes to the actual execution, it may take more than
your effort and discipline. It is your desire to
survive the relationship that makes the most impact
in writing the outcome of your distance
relationship. Consider some of the below do and
don’t list and together with your desire, I am
pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance
relationship with ease and fun.
Do’s
1) Establish an
effective communication channel
The very first thing that you must do in a long
distance relationship is to establish an effective
communication channel. Most people will think that
telephone is the most convenient mode of
communication but apart from the telephone services,
there are some other alternative you can use.
Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and
conventional mails can be very effective if you know
how to use them. Each of the communication channels
has its own advantages and disadvantages and
therefore you must start to explore each of them to
enhance your communication experience.
2) Plan to meet each
other
There is nothing more important than planning to
meet each other again at an interval of time
throughout the period of your long distance
relationship. This will help both you and your
partner to catch up with each other over the things
that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of
seeing each other again will always give you the
excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the
lonely feeling in your LDR.
3) Build hobby that
you can both share
By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will
have something to discuss and work on throughout
your distance relationship. Finding something to do
online can be quite interesting judging from its
speed and reach ability but never leave out
conventional hobby as well because you do not need
to have your partner’s physical present to share a
hobby.
4) Surprise your
partner
Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts,
letter and flower out of their expectation apart
from your normal correspondence. Put your
imagination to use and your partner will be sure to
love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the
unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice
up your distance relationship regardless how far
your partner may be.
5) Capture and share
that interesting moment
Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always
capture some interesting moment of yours by
exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio
recording. This will indirectly keep your partner
informed on what has happen in your life despite the
physical distance.
Don’ts
1) Settle for a
temporary replacement
One of the mistakes that a distance relationship
couple often make is to settle for a temporary
replacement when their partner is not physical
around. By letting a third party into your life, you
will not only put your distance relationship to risk
but you will also break the mutual trust and
agreement that you make. Although it may not be done
intentionally but this type of mistake will be very
costly to your long distance relationship.
2) Take the
relationship lightly
The absence of your partner does not give you the
license to dictate and manipulate the relationship.
You must remember that, your partner has their own
right to participate in any decision making toward
the well being of your relationship regardless where
there are. A long distance relationship is also as
important as a normal relationship and your partner
has their own right to be treated fairly.
3) Wait and see
attitude
Most of the failures in distance relationship that
we observed are contributed by the wait and see
attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused
by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think
that the LDR will work but at the same time they do
not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me
tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of
attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first
place because both you and your partner will suffer
in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be
committed and proactive in bringing the relationship
to a higher level.
4) Suspicion
There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance
relationship. In order for you to survive your
distance relationship, you must learn to trust your
partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will
break the bond you have for each other and it is a
beginning of the end if you start to suspect your
partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is
easier said than done but trust me, if your partner
is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will
still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no
need for you to create such unnecessary stress in
your LDR.
5) Succumb to
negative comment on LDR
Couples in distance relationship always make a
mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The
negative impression you have in LDR will eventually
hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you
choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore,
once you have decided to enter into a long distance
relationship, you must learn to believe that your
relationship will work. I knew it because I had
successfully conquered my own distance relationship
due to the reason that I am not influence by any of
the bad comments I received.
Alex Chew is an avid
believer of Long Distance Relationship. He has been
actively involved in helping distance couples on
their journey through his research works and books.
He is also the webmaster of
http://www.perfect-relationship.com and the
author of
Manage Your Way to A Perfect Distance Relationship
e-book.
